theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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