You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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