my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize