I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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