Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
