And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
