I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
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