I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
