the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
