***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
