i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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