Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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