Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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