Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
