Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
