i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
