Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
