So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize