you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
