Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
