either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
