I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
