Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
