his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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