The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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