My hair reeks of homosexuality.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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