Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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