Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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