The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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