i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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