Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
