so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
