so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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