Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
