I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
