3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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