when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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