I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
