What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
