Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
