Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
