guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
My life is pants optional.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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