Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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