I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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