just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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