Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
