"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize