Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
