ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Terrible idea I love it
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
