i don't like sucking hair
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
