dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize