You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
