were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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