Kareoke will never be a sober sport
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
