Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
