Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
