p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
