What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
