I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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