I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
