Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
smell my finger.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
