hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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