As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
