thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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