I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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