did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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