Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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