I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
