Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
