did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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