Im at strip club and am horny
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
