i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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