Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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