did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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