I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
