I have demons in me.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
