pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
