Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
