maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize