it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
