I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
