ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
