Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
