There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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